How to react when someone flirts with your partner…

So, obviously, we all know our partners are hot stuff, but how do we react when others know our partners have got it goin’ on?

You might be a couple who thinks a bit of admiration from others is nothing more than flattery and laugh it off together, or you may be someone who feels scorned at the slightest glance from another person towards your (insert whatever your cringey-but-cute pet name is here). Obviously, people who don’t mind and people who absolutely do mind are going to have different reactions, but how do we respond to people who clearly want a slice of our cake in a graceful way (whilst still showing we mean business!)

The general debate seems to be between two very different viewpoints: if you care about people flirting with your partner you’re insecure and don’t trust them or, you’re completely justified in having as ‘crazy’ a reaction as you like if someone so much breathes in the direction of your partner.

I decided my opinion alone was not going to cut it, so I took to Twitter to give you some outsider perspectives (before I give you my take, of course) on whether or not you should be annoyed when someone flirts with your partner and how to deal with it if and when it happens.

Twitter user @notcorry stands firmly on the ‘who cares if someone flirts with them’ camp, tweeting:

“I do not understand people that get jealous in relationships if someone is flirting with ur partner u should be cheering them on”

The people in @notcorry’s replies, however, weren’t so sure…

Twitter user @Logan90675844 replied:

“Dumb comment, science explains jealousy, only morons don’t get”

While I get what @notcorry was saying (because duh, who doesn’t love being reminded that their partner is a hottie?), I have to say I agree with @Logan90675844.

Science does in fact explain jealousy, with a Medium article stating:

“…some aspects of jealousy and jealous traits are innate in the human conditions […] and what was formerly perceived as ‘innate’ is far more nuanced and flexible than we assume.”

So should we call off the whole argument here and decide that we should accept that jealousy in a relationship is a human instinct- and take comfort in science supporting our decision not to better ourselves?

Not exactly, Marriage.com explains that, while there are ways and times to be healthily jealous in your relationship,

“Jealousy becomes unhealthy when you lose control of your thoughts, and you make up assumptions that are birth attitudes, fights that could ruin your relationship. Jealousy affects all relationships, but it is up to the couples to determine if it will affect positively or negatively”

The top three ways to deal with jealousy in your relationship are:

1. STOP creating scenarios! You can’t create a whole ten-act play in your head every time another person glances at your partner, you’re only making yourself feel worse!

2. Communication is KEY! Nothing is going to get better because you sat with your arms folded and a stormy look on your face when your partner asked what you wanted for dinner, you need to tell them how you feel! A problem shared is a problem halved- and what better person to share with than the person involved in the problem?

3. Understand your jealousy! When you start imagining your partner cheating on you, put the brakes on the crazy train! Go back and determine what brought about such thoughts and what caused the jealousy. Was it something your spouse did, or are you just being insecure? You can’t solve anything if you don’t know what’s upsetting you!

To put these steps into practice, remember that it doesn’t need to be that serious! The next time that woman old enough to be your mum flirts with your hubby at the bar, think to yourself- is it even a big deal? Sometimes people just want to have some fun and it’s not something that is ever going to have any real effect on you- (even though it’s very annoying and super rude!) If someone flirts with your partner, just take your partner aside to let them know you weren’t comfortable with it and you’d like them to make sure they shut anything similar down straight away in the future!

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